Though we may talk about Self-Care and (reluctantly) about Self-Love, we seldom really approach Self-Acceptance.
Self-Acceptance? Hhhmmm…. Sounds very self-centered, and reeks of indulgence, somewhat.
How could this allow me to ever outgrow my shortcomings, perform at my best, be an inspiration, be successful?
I would have to accept the whole of me?
I would have to make friends with everything I can’t stand about me?
All the flaws and quirks and unworthy traits that I make sure to hide from sight all the time?
What if I completely devolve into complacency, and vainness?
Just content to be me as is?
How coudld I possibly accept all of myself AND not look full of myself?
We resist the idea.
We discard the prospect.
And we go on whipping ourselves into shape.
Blaming, judging, shaming, putting ourselves down, in private and publicly, any time we miss or fail at anything, any time we don’t live up to our fabricated unreachable standards.
Does it work?
Did it help any of us truly thrive so far?
Yet we do this to ourselves.
Instead of warm loving support and encouragement, we give ourselves a hard time!
God forbid we could become vain and conceited!
But since we ALL need recognition, praise and unconditional love, we look for it in all the wrong places… outside ourselves, hoping to find a provider. And we remain hungry for approval, endlessly.
Which opens the door to all kinds of disapointing relationships and all kinds of hurt.
As a matter of fact, in my own personal experience of journeying into a happier and more fulfilling life, as well as what I got to witness with my coaching clients, Self-Acceptance is THE portal to a safe space for growth and happiness.
For inner peace.
A space to learn and bloom.
It’s the magic potion.
The key to finally be able to become Self-Aware without shame.
Without condemning ourselves.
At last, we can look at what we thought was shameful, unacceptable, painful, unworthy, and give ourselves a chance to reconcile, to heal, to thrive.
Self-Acceptance, far from being egotistic and selfish, far from complecency, is simply the realization that we are, I am, wondrously human, exquisitely unique, divinely equipped, with an infinite palette of nuances and aptitudes…
It’s life changing.
Now we can choose to live and show up in the world as we see fit, as feels best.
Hair trigger reactivity goes away.
Drama becomes boring.
Less time is spent wondering how we come accross and more time is joyfully spent doing things we love.
Relations are easier and paralyzing anxiety becomes a thing of the past.
It’s like dominos!
We now can simultaneously accept where we are at and how we got there AND make choices to grow into who we want to be tomorrow!
And chances are we will.
And Joy will be part of the unfolding.
Instead of remaining the victims of our limitations, we now see them as road signs, invitations to dig in, opportunities to turn our stumbling blocks into stepping stones…
Like a tree, we can grow until we die.
And at any stage of that growth we are worthy of this living.
Not because we should or because we were not good enough; just because we can, because growing is the natural thing to do.
Self-Acceptance is stepping up into emotional maturity, and its freedom.
instead of depending on outsiders to bestow some kind of approval on us, (and it’s never enough), we now glow from the inside.
We have an inner best friend.
The wise and eternal part of us that is at our core can finally be heard, as our emotional tumult recedes.
We awaken to the beautiful paradox of being enough and being free to become more!
Self-acceptance is a liberating thing we can cultivate at any time and its effect ripples out in unfathomable ways, far beyond ourselves….
Not only we exponentially increase our happiness level, but we become a beacon of joy in the world.
If this resonates with you, there is a very good book that you might love: The gifts of Imperfection” by Brene Brown.
I find it to be a wonderful helper in self-awareness bravery.
Any of her books is full of gems. This one will help you see how rich and gifted you are.
To your thriving!